The why, what for of it

1When I was 10, like many young girls, I kept a diary. A safe, secret place to express my thoughts and feelings and share my Self with myself. Then my older brother found it and read it and shared it's contents with his neighborhood kids. Never again did I feel comfortable or safe in putting pen to paper for such purpose. I developed a serious and lasting aversion to exposing my most vulnerable to public eyes. Sure, I spent hours as a teen writing notes back and forth with girl friends, and would occasionally pen the random teen angst poem, but never anything that might really reveal my inner most me. Apparently my commitment issues extended to committing myself to my own inner most thoughts and feelings as though the act might somehow shackle me to that state of mind or being forever.

Years later, as I made my way in life, I heard countless times of the power of free writing and journaling for insight and healing. Yet each time was encouraged and pushed, I steadfastly held to my 'I don't journal' mindset. When grad school required me to journal as graded homework, I justified and rationalized my imitation of journaling as progress and personal growth. Insipid and anemic though they were, I was 'trying' right?. Not really. I was still withholding the wholeness of expression of my true being. Steadfast in my fear of speaking my truth, least others reject, ridicule, or worse.

I know from various healing processes this fear has it's roots far beyond this life, experiences from long ago where speaking and living my truth had rather severe and often fatal results. But that was the past, the far past at that. This is now. Since my most cherished and honored values are Truth and Honesty, I am releasing Me from my self imposed prison of withholding.

I am here forth, stepping into my Truth and living a life of transparency and expression. My capacity for veracity is limitless. I shall be a delightfully diaphanous diva, courageously expressing the depth of being. In print. On the internet. For anyone to see. yippee.

This blog will be a place of sharing my thoughts, ideas, feelings, creations, complaints, likes, issues, views, suggestions, learnings, perspectives, knowledge and, foremost, my Authentic Self, wherever I may be at in that particular moment.

If anyone has a question or situation they don't know how to handle and wants my input, then send it over I will share my perspective. I will not be giving advice, rather I'l be sharing insights, awarenesses and various learnings I have gathered on my journey of healing growth and learning.

Thank you to all who join me in this endeavor. I promise they won't all go on forever.

Cheers, K